I just threw up on my dentist
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
