ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
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Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
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It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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