Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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