Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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