im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
