Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
