ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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