Buhtt sex?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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