you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
