Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
