ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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