Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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