Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
