It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
