I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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