you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
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u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
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i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
