All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
