i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
