it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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