You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize