I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
