u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
