You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
