He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
