he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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