operation harelip BJ is a go
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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