Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
