I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
