yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
