i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
