Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
ttyl tear gas
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
