So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
