God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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