so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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