I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The ass gains better be worth it
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