HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
