Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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