I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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