I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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