i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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