woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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