I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
