The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
