So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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