The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
