If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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