i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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