My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
