i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize