We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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