i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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