so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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