Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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