I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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