I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
