It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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