She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
