It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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