Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
