You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize