There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
