Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
