What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
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So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
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Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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