I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
