I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
