I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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