I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
