Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Best friends brother. Beat that.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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